JAN 21 2024 | Proverbs: Ancient Wisdom for a Modern World S2E4

Sea Change Church · JAN 21 2024 | Proverbs – S2 Ep 4: Ancient Wisdom for a Modern World
Proverbs 17:1
Automated transcript. Not reviewed for accuracy.

It's power Amen. You may be seated. The book of Proverbs, chapter 17. Select individual verses. Verse 1. Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting with strife. Verse 14. Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam. So drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. Verse 19. Whoever loves a quarrel loves sin. Verse 27. The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint And whoever has understanding is even-tempered.

And verse 28. Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent And discerning if they hold their tongues. This is the word of the Lord. And the one who is a man. And the one who is a man. I have a man. I have a man. I have a man. I have a man. I have a man. I have a man. I have a man. I have a man. I have a man. I have a man. I have a man. I have a man. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. And the Jewish culture has this book that really is part of the wisdom literature. And it gives a compass. It really gives a roadmap for some very pragmatic, practical things. I love pragmatism in the scripture. I like keeping things simple. You know, Einstein said that it's not being able to understand the theory of relativity that makes you a genius.

It's being able to explain to a five-year-old. And I'm that five-year-old. And so for me, that's great. And I understand there's a big mystical side and an ethereal side. Well, God promises in the Proverbs, if you get the basics right, you get the pragmatic stuff right, he'll come in and do all the mystery and kind of step into your life. Proverbs 17, I'm going to read through these.

And Proverbs 17, it hits. Proverbs 17. Now, my favorite proverb is Proverbs 16. I love Proverbs 16. Proverbs 17 has a lot of goodness in it. And so I pulled out some of the ones that I really find are kind of heavy hitters. There's a bunch in there. But let's just start with verse 1. And there's multiple verses. We're going to do verse 1, 14, 19, 27, 28.

Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting with strife. Start a quarrel. Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam. So drop the matter before the dispute breaks out. Whoever loves a quarrel loves sin. The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint. And whoever has understanding is even tempered. Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent and discerning if they hold their tongues.

I have some words for 2024 that I'm trying to use in my own life. But I also feel like God gave me for the church. It's not too late to figure out your values for 2024 and your words for 2024. I know it's the 20th or 21st or whatever the date is. But you can still sit down and compass out your year to where you want to go. And if you haven't done that yet or if you've, oh, two weeks in I kind of, you know, stop doing it.

Start doing it again. Let me give you some words for our church this year. Preparation. Silence. Simplicity. Rest. And planting. And so we oftentimes, you know, harvesting is harder than planting oftentimes. And so those are just some of those words. And those words really speak of a framework we find in the New Testament in the book of Thessalonians that backs up what we're going to talk about in Proverbs today.

These are verses that the Western Christianity, modern Western Christianity misses a lot. We're about work ethic. We're about duty. We're about the industrial revolution of the faith. It's making it bigger, better, going to the next level. And a lot of pastors push that in their own lifestyles. They push that in their own churches. And we end up having these really, you know, churches that would probably subscribe to Fast Company before they would subscribe to the book of Proverbs.

Sometimes. Not always. And good things happen there. But I think we miss some of that, of that rest in simplicity. The first Thessalonians in 4 has a great verse that if you haven't woven this into the framework of your existence, you might want to think about it. It says, do everything to make it your ambition. Interesting word. That's a bit of an oxymoron when you come on to the next part.

Ambition to lead a quiet life. Wow. You should mind your own business, work with your hands, just as we told you. I love how they said, make it your ambition. Ooh, ambition. Let's go. We like ambition. Right? We like that work ethic, that value, that chasing after whatever dream you're going for and just, you know, grinding the grind, the side hustle, making all those things happen.

This says, make it your ambition to lead a quiet life. I think it's interesting that the thing that I think is the back story of a lot of advertising these days is you're going to get to a place where you can have this thing that we want to tell you the quiet part out loud that actually is available to you now if you make decisions. But you're going to, but if you buy our product, if you work a little harder, if you do these other things, you're finally going to get the thing that the Bible promises for free if you just want to implement it earlier on in your story.

And so it says that make it your ambition to lead a quiet life. With that, there's two main points I want to look at today. The first is this. Wisdom, two points. Wisdom, the wisdom of less is more. The wisdom of less is more. And then second, cultivating a self-controlled life. I think this is a really important, I think it's important for all of us, but especially for our 30-year-olds, our 40-year-olds, our 50-year-olds, our teens that are, you know, taking triple AP classes and trying to do the whole thing.

I mean, obviously when we move into the retirement year, some of these things are foisted upon you. Some of them are just ready for it to happen. You're ready to drop down into low gear. But I would say the larger segment of the population is not trying to find peace in the midst of their work life, in the midst of what they're doing. We're trying to get to that next level.

And so we see that. I have a little quote that I put there. It says, peace thrives where self-control reigns. Peace thrives where self-control reigns. Now you found that in those verses I just read, you find they're all about restraint. And if you want to bring peace into your life, self-restraint in spending, in debt, in the words that you use, it's going to bring peace to your life.

I just don't feel as a culture, we're a culture that values peace. We say we value peace. We all can't just get it, you know, working for the weekend, can't wait to get to the vacation. I'm going to just kill myself so I can get to my two weeks. And on those two weeks in the Bahamas, man, am I going to have some peace. I personally don't want to live my life for two weeks.

I want to live my life and I want to have a culture at our church that lives consistently for peace in the words of Proverbs. Go to verse one. Now you can see if you believe you agree with this or not. You can just put a little A or a D behind it for I agree or I disagree. I'm going to read it. And at the back of it, you can put I agree or I disagree.

Now, with any value, it's only a value if you do it, right? So don't say you agree if you agree with it. That's an aspiration, but you don't do it. That's just an aspiration. And aspirations are great, but it's not a value. A value is actually what you do. So I'm going to read it and then you can put an A or a D next to it based on your own little personal survey.

Better a dry crust. That's a crouton. Better a crouton. I like me some croutons. With peace and quiet, than a house full of feasting with strife. Give yourself an A or a D. It's not a grade, A or a D. It's just I agree or I disagree. I was thinking about food. I like to think about food. My mom got me some Japanese knives for Christmas and they're cool.

Their Japanese knives are super cool. And there's, I don't know, there's all these different things people can get into, like paper. So right now I'm into knives for cooking. I've cut myself three times already since Christmas. I about cut the tip of my finger off. Do not mess with the Japanese knives. And so I'm really into culinary things. And one of the things I know about really bougie, high-end, Michelin star restaurants is they usually go with the less is more principle.

Now I had never been to a Michelin star restaurant. And by the way, it sounds really cool when you say Michelin star. It's actually just Michelin the tire company. I don't know if you know that. They made, in like the 60s or 50s, they made a travel guide to Europe and they just put restaurants with stars by it. So it was like, it's just the tire company, okay?

So, but now it's Michelin star, you know? And so it was just a, you know, a go-to when you're driving through Europe of what restaurants, you know, you're not going to get a bad veal. And so I decided I wanted to go to one. So for our second, our 20th anniversary, Carrie and I, we did a big trip and went to Scotland, went to the Island of Skye.

And we went to this restaurant called the Three Chimneys. By the time we got there, he had forfeited his Michelin stars, so we didn't get to go to a Michelin star restaurant because he didn't want to go because there's all these constraints. There's a picture here of what I had. This is actually on the website this morning. Now, I had this. Now, you're going to see that there's six little black dots on that plate.

That's, by the way, that's the venison, okay? There's six little black dots. You can't really see the whole thing, but those six little black dots, the guy comes out, only 18 people can eat at the restaurant at a time. It was way more money than I ever should have spent for anything, but I thought, we got to go to this Michelin star that didn't even end up being a Michelin star, but it was phenomenal anyways.

Anyways, and I walk up, and the guy comes to the table, and he goes, what can I tell you about your food? And I said, well, you can tell me what these little black dots are because they are fantastic. Like, this just takes the venison to the next level. He said, oh, well, my sautier makes those because you have to have a sautier. He says, my sautier makes those, and he has these black walnuts that he takes, and he emulsifies the black walnuts with the venison, you know, the juice that comes when we cook the venison, and then he adds Madagascar vanilla, and he does this.

He goes, it takes my sautier, one man, five hours to make those six dots. And I was like, man, it was worth every minute. I want to say when you look at these restaurants and things like this, and when we think about excellence, usually it's not a sloppy plate of chicken fried steak with gravy and mashed cheese. That's good. But when I eat that, I never feel good.

Like, I'm happy in the moment. That principle is here in this verse. Better a crouton. Better a dry crust of bread with peace, if you value peace, if you value excellence, than a house full of feasting. How much peace have you lost in your life because of decisions for opulence? Because of decisions for more than maybe you could actually get or want.

I'm not telling you to slack. I'm not telling you to be a quitter. The Bible talks about that as well. Somebody's not willing to work. I mean, Proverbs talks all about that. But when are we pushing too much and we want more and more and more? Here's another one, Proverbs 15, 16. This is just preach itself. Better a little with fear of the Lord than great wealth with turmoil.

Better a small serving of vegetables with love than a fattened calf with hatred. I was backstage and I was talking to Bailey. Excuse me. I was talking to Bailey's husband, who I know like my best friend. What? Parker. Parker. That was awesome. I love when I do that in front of 300 people. Parker, my bad, dude. Awesome. Makes you feel great. And I was talking to Parker and Parker was like, hey, what cologne are you wearing?

I said, you noticed it? He goes, yeah. I said, that's Polo Green from the 80s. Now, right? Polo Green. You don't see a lot of that, right? That's the patchouli of the 80s, by the way. That's how strong. He goes, subtle. He goes, you know what? He goes, a cologne should be, what did he write? A cologne should be discovered, not announced. That's what he said.

And I was like, that's so good. We want to live a life oftentimes. We just want to be announced. We want to be announced in what we drive, even though we can't afford what we drive. We want to be announced in whatever it is because we are living beyond sometimes not only our means, just what you need. What do we actually need? And what do we need in order to make that happen?

And Ecclesiastes, I love Ecclesiastes 4.6. It's one of my favorite verses. And if there are two verses that I make decisions on in my life, probably more than any other decisions, it would be the first one, the better dry crust of bread. That shepherds multiple decisions every month for me. And the next one is Ecclesiastes 4.6, which you don't have.

This is better a handful with tranquility than two fistfuls with striving. You know, I've just, over the years, I used to be the fistful guy. I mean, that was, I had to have more. A lot of that was because I didn't feel comfortable. I wanted people to know how great I was or whatever the reason was or prove or have to prove to everybody else. I've just fallen in love with the handful of tranquility.

It's just so good. And it's something you don't have to strive for. It's something you decide your way into that the Proverbs is all about. I'm going to give one more. Ecclesiastes 5.10 says, whoever loves money will never have enough. That is true. Now, there's a lot of people in the world that don't have enough. And I get that. And there's poverty in the world.

And so, I think that, obviously, our charity, if you have the ability, matters here. But for the people that are not in that camp, and you can be poor and love money, by the way. You don't just have to be rich to love money. I mean, it could be anybody. It says, whoever loves money will never have enough. I think that's what God wants us to have with him.

For whoever loves God because he's eternal, if you switch that into God, you can never get enough of God. You know my problem? I'm satisfied too easy with the amount of God I get. But the things that I don't have that I want, I'm not satisfied. I don't know if you're in that camp. I'm just going to be honest. I'm going to throw myself under the bus right now.

It's the second time I've done it with Parker's name first. But I tend to do that. I tend to do those things. I put here, less is a value and less is a compass. Less is a value. You know, when you think about your values, and hopefully you know your values. Values are what you actually do. Then you can put the other ones into an aspiration until they become a value.

Less can be a value. I just choose to live less. You look at the lives of Mother Teresa, Francis of Assisi, those people that said, I'm going to have less. And with less, the self-decision, the self-governing of less, it brings peace. The Bible actually says that the workers' sleep, in Proverbs, the workers' sleep is sweet. But you've also heard the term, heavy is the head that wears the crown.

We see that. So if we're going to do that, then it comes to how do we do that. Well, the next thing we're going to see here is self-control. It happens with self-control. This point, too. Cultivating a self-controlled life. Now, I could ask you this and put an A by it for agree or disagree. Are you self-controlled? Is the control of your life under God's governance or do your passions desire, and your Bible says your stomach.

Remember, we talked about the heart earlier. You know, trust the Lord with all of your heart. We don't want to live according to our stomach. And the Bible talks about that as well. And that's a Greek thing, an ancient thing. They believe that the stomach was the seat of, like the place of, the seat of desire. You know, live according to the lust of the flesh or the stomach.

Are you a person that's self-controlled? Self-control. One of the ways you'll know self-control, because self-control leads to wisdom. And when you have wisdom, you will often be surrounded by peace. Now, if you're in a tumultuous time because maybe you were let go from your job or you have an illness or, you know, you have some parents that are aging.

And sometimes that can cause turmoil, right? I'm not talking about that normative turmoil. I'm talking about the kind that we whip up on our own volition. So here we have self-control. The New Testament will equate self-control with a few things. It creates self-control with holiness. The book of Titus uses the word self-control more than any other books.

And as I was just reading through it, most of it was about holiness and self-control. That if you're going to be a person who's holy, you're able to say no to those passions and desires that you feel that come up. The lust of the flesh is what it causes. Holiness and self-control, excuse me, is also a fruit of the Spirit. The fruits of the Spirit, there's nine of them.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control. And so of those, it's actually self-control is a fruit. It's a manifestation of the Spirit. I was talking to Elliot, one of our great Bible teachers here at the church. He preached a few weeks ago. I asked him, what does it mean to be discipled? There's a lot of questions around that.

What does it mean to be that you're a fruitful disciple? He says, the disciple is someone who is growing in the fruits of the Spirit. That's how you know. They're growing in the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control, faithfulness. They're growing in all of those. And that was a real, I don't know, he didn't know it, but to me, I took that list back and I'm like, which of these am I growing in?

I picked two. Like two and nine wasn't a great, you know, it wasn't awesome. I had a few, I'm like, I'm really good at that one. I feel like I'm moving forward in this one. I got seven that need some work. That was a real word to put myself up against that Ephesians 5, 22 through 26 of those fruits of the Spirit. Self-control is seen as one of those fruits of the Spirit.

You will know that you are being controlled by the Spirit and not living according to the flesh because Ephesians 5, 22 through 26 says those that are in Christ have crucified the flesh with Christ. They have crucified him. They don't live according to the lust of the flesh. It says you will know that because you will see more of that in your life.

Okay, let's look at a couple of these verses here with this. Verse 14 and 19 of Proverbs. Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam. So drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. That can be difficult. That can be incredibly difficult, especially when you feel like you know you're right. Verse 19, whoever loves a quarrel loves sin. Now there's two types of, talked about love here in these verses that I've brought up.

One is love money and one is the love of a quarrel. Do you feel most comfortable in a quarrel? Some people can't have peace unless they have chaos. Got to self-sabotage something. It's just too intimate if the relationship's going well. I got to mess it up. I can't feel any sense of ballast unless I can create some chaos. I talked about the chaos makers that are like a tornado last week, right?

And I said the thing with a tornado is you can't get within, you know, how many feet of it. You're going to get sucked up into that. You have to keep your distance from that place. When I look at quarrel, the word quarrel, I really like that word. Quarrel, a storm of disagreement where words are the lightning and tempers are the thunder. Quarreling.

I try really hard not to quarrel. We can have a disagreement. There is a moment when disagreement, and it's okay to have healthy conflicts and do that well with boundaries. When the boundaries are breached, the dam is breached. And when the dam is breached, you have moved from healthy conflict, which is a great tool, into quarreling. Quarreling is like a storm, and you will know when you're in it.

It'll present itself. I'll tell you one thing that happens that's true for all quarreling. If you quarrel with your spouse, with a business partner, with your children, whoever it is, you never enter into a quarrel without having to clean up after the storm. Never. There is no, there is, I'll be, I try not to be this definitive, but I'm going to be absolutely definitive.

If you move into quarreling, it needs to be cleaned up with an apology. It needs to be cleaned up with some counseling. There's a lot of reason. But if you enter into that, know you've got to do the cleanup work. As I continue to read Proverbs, and somebody came to me and said, hey, I started doing what you said. I read Proverbs. I've won every day, and it's really changed my life.

It's changed my life. I've been doing it for 20 years, almost every day. It'll change your life. It'll straighten out your paths, and you will begin to love the word of God and store it in your heart. It says that when we did the first one in Ephesians, excuse me, in Proverbs chapter 3, that we store his commands up in our heart. And as we do that, what you will do is you will come to disdain quarreling, because you will hate the results of quarreling.

Some people love the results of quarreling. It gives them more control. They get to go into anger. It gives them self-pity. The people who quarrel all the time, they do it because there's a benefit to it for themselves. And we have to understand the benefit of that that we see. Sometimes I'll counsel with couples, and they'll say, we're arguing all the time.

And I say, well, what's the benefit for both of you for arguing? You're getting something out of it. What are you talking about? No, we're not. Yes, you are. You wouldn't keep doing it. I don't want to shove my finger into a light socket over and over again because there's no benefit to it, you know. We don't want to do that. So Dale Carnegie says this, and we gave this book out to our leaders, How to Win Friends and Influence People.

He says the only way to win an argument is to avoid it. Now, I'm not talking about running from conflict. I'm not talking about never standing up for yourself. That's a whole different thing. I'm talking about knowing, if I say one more thing, we are moving into quarrel. And then asking yourself, do I have a big enough broom and bucket to clean that mess up?

That is what wisdom does. And it says, wisdom has the ability, when you're getting ready to move into a quarrel, to say things like, you know what? I want to consider what you're going to say, what you just said. I need about a day or so to think about it, and can I pray on this? I just need some time. Or maybe we can go meet with our counselor and talk through this because I'm not sure I have the tools to do this without quarreling.

Or I don't want to have a quarrel. Or can we just take some time? Space is grace and time is your friend when it comes to quarreling. Very few things need to be figured out in the moment. Very few quarrels that we have need to be figured out in the moment. Verse 27 says this, the one who has knowledge uses words with restraint. And whoever has understanding is even-tempered.

Verse 28, I love this, even fools are thought wise if they keep silent and discerning and hold their tongues. Restraint. What is a restraint? A restraint keeps things from being broken. A restraint is what keeps a mast attached to a ship. A restraint is what keeps a tent like the one we have outside being held down from being blown away. When you have no restraints, you have no freedom, and chaos is always at hand.

I put in the notes, the art of wielding the power to act. This is the definition for restraint. The art of wielding the power to act with full force, but choosing the elegance of self-control. Self-control really, I love that word. Self-control really is elegant. And as we look at these Proverbs, the Proverbs are inviting you into an elegant solution that is more like, you know, surgery, and is more surgical in nature than just using an ax on a tree.

This is what the Proverbs does, and it shows that there's this elegance. It also says that it's being even-tempered. Being even-tempered means staying calm and composed, avoiding emotional extremes, handling situations with steadiness and rationality. Benjamin Franklin had a great quote. He said, remember not only to say the right thing at the right place, but it's far more difficult to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Mmm. How hard is it to hold your tongue? I would say if God had not given me the ability to start being able to do this through the word of God, my life would be very different right now, and the fruit would be very different if he wouldn't have had the grace to start showing me how to live into the Proverbs 20 years ago. It would affect my marriage.

It would affect my relationship with my children. It would affect my relationship with my staff. Over and over again. I really want in an argument to be the most calm person in the room. That's one of my goals. I don't set a lot of goals, but one of them. When there's an argument, I want to be one of the most calm people in the room. My wife and I were talking about this thing this week, and she said something to me.

She says, you know, I don't feel like you're really stepping up here. And I was like, okay. The reason I haven't stepped up is because I don't want to go crazy, and someone needs to be calm in this situation. But if you want to know how I feel, and I let her know how I feel. She cried for a good reason. She's like, you have passion about it. I just needed to know you cared about it.

I was like, I deeply care. How do you not know me this long and not know that I care? I'm ready to rock and roll. Let's go. But I don't want to do that. I want to be calm, and I want to be steady because I feel it's the easier way. So having that ability, it says right there, remembering to say the right thing at the right place. The steadiness, the elegance of trying to be calm.

It's going to give so much fruit that it talks about here. Restraint and even-temperedness, I put, are a keel in the storm of life. Restraint and even-temperedness. Now, if you are not an even-tempered person, you can become one. The great thing about the Proverbs is it tells you how to become the wise person as opposed to the fool. What's interesting in Proverbs is there's really no middle ground.

It's pretty binary. There's not a big spectrum or nuance. It's like the fool does this, the wise person does this. We done. You can ask yourself and put yourself into those places. So practical takeaways here, if your life is a storm and you need a keel, restraint and even-temperedness. Here's the first one. Where in your life can you implement the principle of less is more?

Where in your life can you implement the principle of less is more? I've lived through a bunch of housing booms now. I'm 54. I've seen a bunch of housing. I've seen a bunch of this. Okay, we've seen a ton of it. I've seen so many people make decisions to have something like a giant yard for their kid at the expense of spending time with their kid.

I've seen that over and over and over. I mean, I don't want to put a judgment call on it, but for us, that was one thing we always wanted to say less is more. There was a value. And for me being able to be home and tuck my kid in. Now, Grant, let me say this. I understand that people are poor and they can't do that and they're forced into that situation.

I'm talking about people who have a decision that can choose that. So the first thing that it says here is where in your life can you implement the principle of less is more? It's going to bring you peace. And the second one is this. What areas of your life need to be re-tethered to restraint and self-control? What areas of your life need to be re-tethered?

You just take it down. We're going to lock it down with some accountability. I'm going to lock it down with making some decisions by whatever it is that you re-tether yourself. Because one of the things that we do is when things get rough, we tend to distract with things that make it rougher. I mean, it's good for the moment, right? You do that thing in the moment, it feels good, and you feel you get that escape from it, that relationship or that substance or the spending or whatever it is.

For that moment, it feels good. But you just bring more chaos into your life. This is the beauty of self-control. Somebody came to me in closing this week, and they said, hey, Pastor Adam, I was super excited. I started January out, and I decided I quit smoking and quit drinking. And I'm at 20 days now, and I'm so stoked. I'm so blessed. And I said, you've been smoking for a long time?

They said, since I was a teenager. I said, that's a long time. They said, yeah. And I just, you know, I failed before, but I'm 20 days in, and I feel great, and this is just what I want for my life. I was so encouraged by that. Because I have things I'm working on too, right? And when they said that to me, I thought, man, you guys inspire me so much.

I thought, if they can do that, then it just gave me encouragement. It actually upped my self-control by looking at somebody else who was trying to do the same. And so we're just a group of people that are broken, that are trying. But this is what we want as a people, and I want the best for you. And I believe that Proverbs has the best for you.

So we end this series now with a challenge to you to look at it, to restrain our lives, to go less is more, and begin to put God at the center of our hearts in his commands. Amen? Stand if you would. We start in Genesis next week, by the way. Abraham, we are back in Abraham. You want to talk about some chaos? Huh. The people in the Genesis. So we're going to be talking about some more of that.

I love to bless you, and I hope you feel blessed when you come here. We're going to have you, if you need prayer, you're going to come forward. We're going to have a prayer team here. They're going to have name tags on. They will pray for you. But if you extend your hands, I want to bless you this morning. Lord Jesus, I want to bless your people, God, with wisdom.

And I pray that they would be wise, and I pray wisdom upon them. I pray a desire for you. I pray the fruit of the spirit of self-control, God. I pray for holiness, a desire for more of you, God. And where there is chaos, maybe they can even talk to the person where they're with, their spouse or whoever, and say, hey, that really hit me. I want to make some changes.

Like that person who spoke to me this week, 20, 21 days in now of a new life. And we pray that we continue on. So I bless you with the favor of God upon your life. I bless you with his provision of wisdom and grace, and that God would sustain you greatly as you make decisions to walk in the spirit. And bless you in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Amen.