JAN 2 2022 | Proverbs for the New Year S1E2 | Proverbs

Sea Change Church · Proverbs for the New Year · "Proverbs" Pastor Adam Stadtmiller · January 2, 2022
Genesis 27:30–38
Automated transcript. Not reviewed for accuracy.

Music Start spreading the news. Anybody want to join me? I'm leaving today. All right, the music ended. Nonetheless, that song is for a couple reasons. One, just to let you know that there are other generations besides the one I grew up in, and so I thought I'd play a little bit of extra music, get it going. Second of all is because that song is known for the turn of a new year, and you see it when the ball drops in New York, and so we are moving into a New Year's series.

Before we get to the Old Testament, which I do every single year, we're going to be back in Genesis looking at Abraham, the character of Abraham. That's where we have made it in our Genesis behind the curtains. That starts at about three weeks, but before then, we're going to be in the book of Proverbs, and the book of Proverbs is the wisdom literature of the Bible. So the Bible has poetic literature. It has narrative.

It has historical, but it also has this wisdom literature, and the wisdom literature is the nuts and bolts about how to take something, a word like religion, and make religion personal. Now, when religion is not personal, when personal religion is not redemptive, then it just becomes rote, and so this is why people recoil against the word religion, but I have no problem with the word religion, and Jesus and the Scripture actually says that true religion is this, and it speaks about true religion.

It talks about helping orphans and the poor, and so what religion means is organizing yourself, your life, your lived-out life around a set of biblical values or spiritual values. That's what religion is. So what the Proverbs does, and Proverbs are like parables. Jesus spoke in parables, which are like Proverbs, very simple to understand, sometimes not always easy to understand with Jesus, but metaphors on how to craft a life, an inner life around the values of your religious beliefs, and so that is what Proverbs does.

I love the Proverbs because they're so simple. They are the hit-you-in-the-face scriptures in the Bible. They're the ones that are probably the easiest to understand, but sometimes the hardest to live by. I believe that if you live according to the Proverbs, according to the wisdom of the Proverbs, you will see great increase in benefit in your life, and I've seen this. There's a blessing in the Proverbs. There's a blessing in the book of Ecclesiastes.

That's the book that follows Proverbs, and so we're going to be looking at Proverbs and asking you to organize your life. Last year, we talked about austerity measures in your life a bit. We talked about wanting less. We talked about living according to values and not living according to goals as much, and how to organize your life to find peace by having, as one of the main verses was Proverbs 17.1, that says it is better to have, basically paraphrase, one hand that is one hand with peace as opposed to two fistfuls with striving and chasing after the wind.

This week, we're going to go after a second understanding in the Proverbs, and that's how to manage our tongues. That's how to manage the things that we say. Okay, if you can be in control of your tongue, which the Scripture says is incredibly difficult in the book of James, if you can be in control of everything that you say, if you can rarely or never say something that is toxic, hurtful, demeaning, if you can control what comes out of your mouth, the Scripture actually says that your mouth can be life-giving.

It says in the Scripture that the tongue has the power of life and death. And so let me just begin with this. That the call for this year, as you look in this year, perhaps for you, might be to detox your tongue. Now, if you guys know Bucky Bateman, he is our counselor here. If you want some great counseling, professional counseling, you can look at our renewal center. And back in October, I was talking to him about, hey, you know, how you doing?

He goes, I'm getting ready for the new year. I said, it's October. I said, what are you doing? He goes, I can't wait till the first of the year. I'm going to give myself the gift of health. And I'm like, okay, man, the gift of health. I said, why not just start now? It's October. That's like three months away. He goes, don't rush me. January 1st, the gift of health. So around November, I texted him, like 44 days to the gift of health, you know.

I kept bringing it up to him. And so yesterday, you can imagine, on the first, I texted him, it's time to begin the gift of health. He said, today all I've been giving myself is the gift of carbohydrates, is what he texted me back. So we'll see how the gift of health goes. You know, in the first of the year, we all maybe think about some New Year's resolutions. I actually didn't do any New Year's resolutions. My only resolution is to actually do the things that I've already been trying to do for the last 10 years and not as successful at.

So no resolution. But one of the things that's huge is a detox. And what this message is about is detoxing your tongue. Maybe your tongue needs a detox. Now, I'm not talking about getting the brush and rubbing the brush. Some of you have done that, and lemon and cayenne pepper and all that stuff. I'm talking about an attitude change that actually affects the way you speak. One could actually argue that words are the most powerful tool in the entire world.

One could argue that words are the most powerful tool in the entire world. Because oftentimes, some people would say it would be force or power. But that can be changed if someone is persuaded by the use of someone's words. The Bible says that the words have the ability to give life and death. The Bible also speaks about when you speak the gospel, through the words comes the power. And so one of the things you will see is in John 1.1, you'll see this in your notes, if you have your notes, Jesus himself, in the book of John, when John speaks about Jesus, he identifies himself with a word.

And the word is the word. Let me look at John 1.1. In the beginning was the word. And the word was with God. And the word was God. Now why does it use that word? The reason it uses the word word is because it means everything that can be said, everything that can be expressed, that there is power in that. And Jesus is actually, if you would try to identify who he is, he is beyond words. But just for the importance of the point, that your words matter, understand that when Jesus identified himself, he identified himself as the word.

And so let me ask you this. How are your words? Does your tongue need a detox? Are you a person who brings life? Are you a life giver with the words that you speak? Or perhaps sometimes, do you move into that toxicity? Do you move into a place that brings others down, that doesn't bring life? We understand that if I were to ask you, what's the worst thing anyone has ever said to you, most of us can remember right away.

It's much easier for some reason to remember negative things that have been said to us than positive things. And so in this scripture, we're gonna be going into the Proverbs. And I wanna challenge you to say this year, it's the 2nd of January. And maybe you didn't have a resolution. But maybe we can start with a resolution. To be a person of the right words, who detoxes their tongue, who becomes a person of life. That's what's happening in this scripture.

Now, as we talk about detoxing the tongue, there's gonna be three words, you'll see them in your notes, that I wanna go through with a multiplicity of scriptures. Now, the Proverbs are voluminous on the subject of the tongue. It is voluminous. Matter of fact, I had to start editing scriptures out because there was probably 25 to 30 scriptures that were all about the way you use your mouth, the way you use your tongue, the way you use your words.

It is voluminous. And when we get to the end, the practical of how to actually detox your tongue, I'm gonna encourage you to be in the Proverbs daily. One of the best ways is to remind yourself to where they become second nature. They become like a muscle reflex. My daughter's in basketball right now. Learning how to shoot without thinking with muscle memory is so key. And you can start doing that from different places on the court.

The same thing can happen with your reactions at a crossroad when it's time to speak and when it's time not to speak at that crossroad. So here's those three words. The first is guard. The Bible and the Proverbs speaks about guarding your tongue. Well, look at that, guarding. What does it mean to guard? What are the metaphors, the parables that the Proverbs uses? Are you a person that guards your tongue? The second is to think.

Do you think before you speak? I was a person for very many years of my life where there was no speed bump between my mind and my mouth. There was no guard at the door, wait to come in. I just said what I said and did what I did and spoke whatever came to my mind and then realized sometimes I really didn't mean that. And sometimes the emotion was actually driving what I was saying. The emotions that I had sometimes were driving what I'm saying and one thing I've learned is I don't trust every emotion I have.

I know emotions are important and God gave them for a reason but sometimes emotions are warning but it's actually, I don't let my emotions be in control of everything that I say although they're important and sometimes they need to be thought of. So the second one is think. Do you think? First one is guard. Next one is think. The third one is to tend. There is an agrarian understanding. By agrarian I mean like you're a gardener.

There is an agrarian understanding as we tend our words to bring life and the scripture in the Proverbs as you'll see in just a moment speaks about that when you tend your words it actually is like a tree of life. I don't want to pre-preach the point but trees are really important in the Bible. Maybe you remember Genesis. Maybe you can look forward to Revelation where it says that there will be a tree of life that will be planted near the river in Genesis.

In Psalm 1 it says that the wise person the person who meditates on the psalm is like a tree planted by the stream that is nourished and gives fruit in season. So the Proverbs sees your mouth, your tongue like a fruitful tree that needs to be tended. So let me just say this for these three again. To guard, to think, and to tend. Let's start with guard. Let's go to Proverbs in your scripture if you don't see it. Proverbs 21 23 Those who guard their mouths and their tongues their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.

Those that guard their mouths and their tongue keep themselves from calamity. Very, very straightforward scripture there. It's telling you to guard. Now, when it speaks about guarding in the rest of the Proverbs like Jesus it uses metaphors. And I found a few metaphors in the scriptures in regard to the tongue in Proverbs that are about guarding. And they're about two words that I found. I found the word swords. So swords are really interesting in the scripture.

There's a lot of swords in the Bible. And the next one that I saw was fires. So think right now of the proverbial metaphor of your tongue and being like a sword or having the ability to start a fire or to quench a fire. Let's go to that first one. Proverbs 12, 18 and 19. The words of the reckless pierce like swords but the tongue of the wise brings healing. What the scripture is saying here is that your tongue can be like a sword.

Now, swords can be used to attack. Swords, if you've ever watched sword fighting or any of the I don't know if anybody watches I tend to watch the trilogy of the Star Wars trilogy during or Lord of the Rings during the Christmas break between Christmas. I don't know why. It's not like there's a tradition but I tend to watch maybe because one came out at Christmas. But swords can be used to attack and swords can be used to defend.

And so they can also take blows that come your way and be used to shield the blow. Think of your words the same way. Are you a person that is incredibly witty, sarcastic, skeptical, funny, you use your words and they become like a sword. Now, sometimes that can be comedic relief and it works really well. Other times it can be really painful. I've told this story before but I had a pastor that came to me and one of the things I've always liked I've tried to be that if I say something to you I mean it.

I've tried to be a person who is honest. I try to say what I mean to say and my mentor sat me down one day and my mentor said to me he goes you know what I love about you? He goes you're brutally honest. I love it. He goes you know what I love about brutal honesty? It's honest. It is so honest and I just love how honest it is. You know the other thing he said to me he kind of had this smile about brutal honesty? It's brutal.

He says it's actually brutal and he says is there a way that you can do the honest bit without the brutal? I was like I don't know never thought about it. Maybe we could but for some reason I was seeing the power of the honesty against the virtue of actually being kind and gentle and so that's something I still work on today. I want to be authentic but another form of a sword is a scalpel. A scalpel is kind of like a small sword and what is it used for?

A scalpel is used for precise cutting the cutting away to use to do surgery. You can actually are often times more healed with a scalpel than you are with a sword. They don't use swords for surgery for a reason. They use a scalpel and so with your words do you see yourself as a person who uses a sword or do you see yourself as a person who uses a scalpel and so we see that sword. Now Jesus in the revelation has a sword what?

Coming out of his mouth but we know that all things that Jesus speaks are true and so the sword of the spirit is also true and so the metaphor once again as you look into the prophetic literature you see Jesus with a sword and so you can use a sword. Sometimes there are times to use a sword but how are you using it? The second word that it uses is fire. So you see swords and fires. Let's go to Proverbs 26 20 in your notes.

Without wood a fire goes out. Without a gossip a quarrel dies down. Read that again. Without wood a fire goes out. Without a gossip a quarrel goes dies down. one of the things I've realized is I was really good early on in my life at turning a little brush fire into a raging inferno. I was so good at it. I cared more about being right about having to be right than being right. Let me just say that again. I cared more about having to be right than actually being right meaning doing the right thing.

The scripture here talks about that you have the ability to feed a fire. That every conversation that starts escalating you have the ability and we just had a two week holiday season so I'm sure you've had a lot of chances to get to practice this. And you probably understood that there were times where you can just throw things on the fire and just keep it going or let that fire die down. This is one of the scriptures like muscle memory that shows up because after 15 years of reading the Proverbs almost every day this is one of those scriptures that when I see the emotions heightened in a conversation when somebody says something that's a little inflammatory towards me immediately almost always now this scripture or one like it shows up in my mind because I have just made it a point understanding that I was not a wise person.

I've tried to become a wise person and the scripture will tell you in Proverbs that if you read the Proverbs it promises you that you will become wise. Do you want to be wise? We live in an unwise society. We live in the most shallow society that has ever existed since the beginning of time in my opinion. We are a mile wide and we're about an inch deep. And as I looked around yesterday at the influencers and the different people who were in the headlines and everything no one was in the headlines because of something wise that I could find that they said.

This influencer it would be you know there would be in the headlines it would say so and so stuns on the beach in you know Cancun in her black bikini you know or something like that I'm like whoa you have a lot to offer the world don't you? There was never like someone stuns in Cancun with a prophetic word or a word of a proverb it just doesn't exist you can't seem to find it and so we see that in our society that we oftentimes don't have people that are wise.

Do you want to be wise? One of the ways to be wise is in a conversation especially in business especially in relationships especially with your family is to be a person that puts fires out rather than makes fires sets fires or sets things ablaze. If you're going to if you're we do not want people who are emotional arsonist people who have these words and these things that we say that you can extricate them one of the things that I realized in my relationship and being married is that I got to the point about 10 or 12 years ago that I was not willing to clean up the mess anymore that my tongue could create.

I didn't have the energy as I got older I didn't have the time and I didn't have the emotional wherewithal to do it anymore and I realized that I was really good at creating messes that I actually didn't have the ability to clean up. The tongue is like it says guard it can be a sword it can be a fire and so one you can guard as a defensive position you can use your tongue like a sword of truth and to say the right things at the right time like a scapel or you can be a firefighter you can put out fires or you can be an emotional arsonist what do you want to be?

Let's go to the second one think think do you tend to think let's go to Proverbs 17 27 through 28 the one who has knowledge uses words with restraint circle the word restraint and whoever has understanding is even tempered even fools are thought wise if they keep silent and discerning if they hold their tongues restraint do you have restraint? this week I was looking for a good book to read I'm an audio book person now in the last few years and so they have a group of free books on audible.com and there's one about Shackleton and Shackleton Ernst Shackleton if you don't know who he is in 1914 to 1917 he took the endurance that's the ship behind him to the south pole to try to go to the south pole and make his way back he had 25 men with him on that ship on the first year of the journey because he was there three years that little ship right there got stuck in the ice that's where it's stuck in the ice the ice tends to move and just compress and eventually it snapped that entire ship in the middle of the south pole now he couldn't use his phone because it was 1914 to let anybody know that he was there three years three years he spent in the south pole with no ship one year on an iceberg just like an ice flow excuse me it was a mile wide by mile wide and they were just hoping that it would move close to south Georgia where they had these little ships that they were towing that they could get in and make their way to south Georgia well I'm not going to ruin the story for you of what happened but he was there three years and you can find it on audible.com I just put in Shackleton there for free one of the ways they survived is through rationing they rationed there was some seal meat on occasion there was the occasional emperor penguin that would show up that they would eat but they would have these little biscuits and they were down to like 800 calories a day there was multiple months where the entire crew survived by rationing by rationing the water actually there was not a lot of water you can't actually you have to like boil the water down in order to drink it so if you don't have enough fuel you can't boil the water so you're surrounded by water it's really fascinating the point is this they would ration do you ration your words do you ration or does every opinion you have have to be said you will feel it start to well up in you when you have to say something are you a person that has to say something or maybe you're a keyboard you know a keyboard terrorist online you know or in the comment section you've just somebody said something that inflamed you and you've just got to get it out there is no rationing with you you eat constantly you know at the buffet of your own thoughts we see that here in Proverbs 17 20-28 the one who has knowledge this means the one who has knowledge knowledge doesn't mean you have a high IQ knowledge means you've learned things doesn't mean you have a high IQ it means you've learned things there's a difference between knowledge and intelligence the one who has knowledge uses words with restraint and whoever has understanding is even tempered even fools are thought wise if they keep silent and discerning if they hold their tongues Proverbs 19 10 says sin is not ended by multiplying words but the prudent hold their tongue oh how hard is it how hard is it when someone just gets you and you feel backed into a quarter to like hold your tongue and to think before you speak the prudent do that the heart Proverbs 15 28 the heart of the righteous weighs its answer but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil so the second one here is think Shackleton had to think through how long he thought it would be how many years if more they would take and think through the rations what each person would get what each man would get what the dogs would be fed how long they could feed the dogs until they had to eat the dogs sorry you know on and on he had to think about all of these things are you a person that thinks about what they say are you a person who guards what they say and thinks before you speak you know sometimes one of the best tools you can have in a discussion when someone says something to you you feel your emotions well up is to say something like this can I have the afternoon to think about that or just find an off ramp you ever realize you know that off ramps are a good thing like on occasion you got to get over to get gas like find an off ramp in a discussion in a conversation and say hey can I have till tomorrow to think about that you will find that if you are in a dance with a friend of yours or your partner or whoever it is who like to argue a lot that's going to throw the whole dance off like if you immediately just say they say something to you they're waiting they're ready because they're used to the dance if you just change the dance step and say hey I'm going to go let me just go think about that that's really important I heard what you said let me just step off here for a morning and can I get back to you in the morning but you're going to see brains rewire you're going to see like eyes go sideways and sometimes people will like because they're used to the dance they'll keep going after you well like I said I just you know I really want to respond to that I think you're important I think what you have to say is important I need to process if that's true you know for me and how I understand it let me get back to you in the morning you know I've done that Carrie and I have made that a tool we've come back sometimes a few days later or we'll say this conversation we're going to put this off can we talk about this in counseling because I don't feel like it's a great conversation for us to have alone I don't trust us to have this alone and so we will say like on Thursday let's do it on Thursday in counseling we this has happened so many times we get into counseling on Thursday and it would be like what was that about and we can't remember actually what that's happened so many times and it shows that so many of the things that we argue about don't matter think guard and think think about what you say there's nothing wrong with space time is your friend time is your friend with words the scripture Jesus regularly thought before he did things and then finally tend the proverb sees the life giving of the tongue as an agrarian in nature where you are a farmer of life that's basically what the scripture says you are a farmer of life let's go to proverbs 18 20 through 21 from the fruit of their mouth a person's stomach is filled let's say that again that is so powerful especially if you're in business if you're a business person if you're you know a teacher but this is talking about the fruit of your by the fruit of a person's mouth their stomach is filled they understood that you had to have good relationships in business they understood that the fruit and the trade and you know you're known by your word and your character and the things that you say business goes better if you can tame your tongue from the fruit of a person's mouth their stomach is filled with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied the tongue has the power of life and death and those that love it will eat its fruit wow let me just let me just say that again I want that to be true for me from the fruit of a person's mouth the stomach is filled with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied the tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit proverbs 15 for the soothing tongue is a tree of life but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit proverbs 25 11 a word fitly spoken once again with an agrarian understanding is like apples of gold in a setting of silver and then finally this one I really love and it's hard to do proverbs 15 1 and 2 a gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger the tongue of the wise adorn knowledge but the mouth of the fool gushes folly so in closing how do we unpoison the well that is our tongue because the scripture as it says says that everything that is said comes from the heart Jesus said this at the top of your notes you're going to see Matthew 12 34 for the mouth speaks what the heart is full of let me say that again what comes out of your mouth speaks what your heart is full of when I am spending time with people and considering there from leadership positions or a job hire I try to spend time with people and I try just to listen about what they say when I'm with people I try to listen what they say how they speak how they speak about others on and on again and what I have found is that people according to what Jesus says what they say actually will reveal what is in their heart scripture I don't remember the exact reference right now actually says that it's impossible for the mouth not to speak out what is in the heart you will eventually will make yourself known it is impossible at some point you will do something there will be something that will push you over the brink and what is in your heart will come out of your mouth have you ever been with that person and something terrible happens and something gracious comes out of their mouth I speak about my mom a fair amount she's a person who regularly if you know if you say that happened or this happened she will give a gracious response well maybe they cut you off because they're going to the hospital because their kid was sick it's always like this great I'm like will you stop it no they're just totally rude they're going to the market I know they're going to Trader Joe's for a bottle of wine they're not going to the market for the hospital so basically your heart is a well and your mouth gushes remember it said gushes there's those terminologies again gushes out what's in your heart look the proverbial literature is not one through gimmicks we live in a gimmick society right everything's a gimmick you do not become a spiritual person through gimmicks it's hard earned and fought I'm going to tell you three just quick things we're going to end right here just in a couple minutes three quick ways to change the well maybe you don't like the well maybe it's brackish brackish means part salt water part fresh water maybe it's not a poisoned well but it's just not great it's brackish in nature or is it a fresh stream how do we unpoison the well well the first of all is we spend time in God's word especially the proverbs and the wisdom literature ecclesiastes I would encourage you if you can to read one of the proverbs based on whatever day of the week it is there's 31 in there okay every day of the week eventually if you do this for one two three four six ten years you will become wise I have to say you will become wise because the scripture says at that point you're loving wisdom you actually love wisdom you know what I love wisdom I'm not saying I'm wise but I love wisdom you know why because it gets me out of a lot of problems I know that wisdom is good I know that wisdom blesses me I know that wisdom keeps me married I believe totally believe 100% of my heart if you have two people in a relationship and they both in a marriage and they both live according to the proverbs and do what the proverbs say you will never get divorced it is impossible for both partners to do what the proverbs says it talks about everything from human sexuality to the words you speak to the way you spend your time to the things you value it is impossible in my opinion if two people are committed to doing what the proverbs actually says you will never get divorced in my opinion it tells you how to love it will give you the advice for life just the proverbs make yourself known change your heart with the wisdom literature now there's two other things and we're done the other thing is this spend time in gratitude one of the best ways to change that well is to be a person of gratitude to thank God for all the goodness you know one of the things that I saw in the last two years of COVID is less gratitude and more upsetness this has been taken away I can't do this anymore I'm so upset with this this upsets me you know boom boom we find these different things that are happening and everyone's upset but there's not much gratitude do you remember that first I don't know few weeks of the pandemic when you just had to stay at home and I sat in my backyard and it was so quiet like nothing was moving and there was a moment I don't know if you had any moments like this in the pandemic where you just sat there especially at the beginning and you're like wow this is amazing do you remember the pictures on the internet of all the animals starting to come back like bears walking through New York City and all those things to begin to live in gratitude you know it's hard to say something negative about your spouse or your kid or your boss if you spend a lot of time let's say 10 minutes a day 5 minutes a day just 5 minutes making a gratitude list I'm so thankful that my boss hired me I'm so thankful that even if you have all these negative thoughts it is going to be hard to say something negative if you spend time in gratitude gratitude will change the well of your heart proverbial literature number one if you want to make this a year of detoxing your tongue number two spend time in gratitude and then the final one is this spend time in forgiveness the forgiven heart the heart that forgives is a heart of grace it is hard to be a toxic person if you live in forgiveness if you look at the politician who you have started to scorn and begin to say God I just forgive that or the person across the street or the person who cut you off or whoever that person is if you spend just a few minutes each day in forgiveness you know this made me upset this person made me upset even forgiving yourself for the things that you do you begin to become a person of grace this is how you change the tongue this is how you detox the tongue with a healthy helping of the word of God daily of the Proverbs by living in gratitude by living in forgiveness and then this year you will eat its fruit you will begin to eat its fruit and it will sustain you it will sustain you and bring you life amen you