AUG 28 2016

Sea Change Church · Adam Stadtmiller · August 28, 2016
Automated transcript. Not reviewed for accuracy.

Amen. Thank you, Jim. What a morning. I could go home. I mean, that's solid. Christine bringing it. You, uh, we believe that Jesus in the congregation is the only hope for this world. The church for too long has let the stage be the star or the mission of the church be the star. And you can come and we build a few wells and you give to that and then you can go home and feel like you did something.

Uh, what we want to encourage you to do is what Christine has done and what so many others have done, what Alex is doing and the surf church people are friendly with their tutoring or whatever it is to go where you are and be the church. And that is the goal. Uh, my goal is not to have my face on a bunch of screens all over the city. Not that that's a bad model, but for me, I believe that our model is you, uh, that you like Steven are the Jesus in you is the star.

And it's so exciting to come and to see the faces and to know where God is influencing the kingdom and the business world and the banking community and all over this, uh, county and throughout the four corners of the earth through this little church on the corner. And, uh, it's exciting to be a part of it and to lead it. So, uh, let me pray and then we'll be getting going. Lord Jesus, uh, bless this word. Give me a, a way to speak, uh, of the, uh, eternal things of the kingdom, God, in a way that, uh, it touches each person.

You have a message for everyone here and we thank you in Jesus name. Amen. If you have a sibling, you understand conflict. Let me say that again. If you have a sibling, you understand conflict. I have a sibling. You met him. His name is, I have a couple, uh, but I have two brothers, but you met one of them yesterday or last week. His name is Albie. He just turned 50 and he's six foot eight, uh, weighs about 15 pounds less than me now.

Uh, but he was my, uh, protagonist, let's say growing up. And, uh, when you have a brother who, uh, matures quicker than you and is about four and a half years, four years older than you, you will understand that you have to learn to bob and weave in order to survive, uh, being growing up. And so my brother was a great big brother, taught me a lot. We had a lot of fun together and grew up in La Mesa and idyllic community in the 1970s.

And La Mesa was an amazing place to grow up, uh, back then La Mesa National Little League. Jim grew up in La Mesa. Both of your pastors are from La Mesa, son, native sons. And, uh, group Mount Helix. And we had the run. We were part of the free range generation of children where it was come home when the lights turn on. Uh, and there weren't many lights, but we could leave at nine in the morning on a Saturday, come back for lunch and be back out again on our bikes until, uh, till dark.

And so that's great in the summer. Raise your hand if you were a free range child. Okay. Yeah. Right. Okay. Now let me just say that is changing. It's like the free range chickens, uh, free range generation. We were just, my mom just like, I couldn't believe it. You know, it was just amazing, uh, different. And so I learned, uh, conflict resolution through my brother because my brother would, this is how he would solve a conflict.

He would, if he could catch me, I was much quicker and like a rabbit. And my claim to fame at elementary school was I was the second fastest kid in school for seven years straight, which is a bummer because my best friend was the fastest, but nonetheless, I was a silver medalist. Each year in the long run that we had, if my brother could catch me, he would hold me down and he would ask me a question.

And the question was this, do you want it in the arm or the leg? At least it wasn't face or, you know, solar plexus. So he would make me choose. And he said, if you don't choose, you get both. And it was multiple hits depending on how he was feeling. I still have a broken blood vessel in my arm for my brother hitting me in the arm. And this is how he would resolve conflicts.

If you have had a sibling, you understand conflict or conflict resolution. Power of today's, the, the, the sermon title today is this. And I learned a lot about conflict this, uh, um, week in studying the scripture, uh, the power of conflict. When you view conflict, do you, how do you see conflict? Do you run from conflict? Do you love conflict?

There are people that if they, they can't have peace in their life unless they have chaos. Let me say that again. There are people in the world that unless they have chaos, they cannot have peace in their life. Or do you like Jesus see conflict as an opportunity to expand the kingdom? I realized this week looking at this, and I think I've been trying to live this way for a long time, but I was able to put words to this by looking at this scripture.

If you look at today's main course in the notes, this is what we're talking about. Few things can build the kingdom of God like disagreement done right. Let me say that again. Few things can build the kingdom of God like disagreement done right. Man, that is a different way to look at conflict. That every time there is a conflict in your life, there is an opportunity to expand the kingdom.

In Ephesians 2, it talks about how God sees conflict. How he comes to a conflict. And even though he is right in all situations, God does not have to be right. And so look at Ephesians 2, 14 through 18. I put this whole scripture in there because I think it was very important to get the gist of what it says. For he himself, that's Jesus, is what?

He is our peace. Who has made the two groups one and destroyed the barrier. That barrier being conflict between the godly and the righteous. Between God and those that are living in sin and born into sin. The barrier was sin. Sin is a conflict. And conflict does not always have to be sin. But conflict can very easily move into sin. There is such a thing as healthy conflict.

We see it in this scripture. And he destroyed the barrier, which was conflict. The dividing wall of hostility. How powerful is that? That there was a major conflict. When man decided, mankind, because women you're included in there as well. When mankind decided that they didn't want to be God's children. They wanted to be like God. And I've said over and over again that if you want to be like God, then you cannot be his children.

And whenever we try to take control of situations. Whenever we try to do the things that should be left to God. We allow ourselves to step out of understanding that God wants to be our father. And we become like him. And to be like him. It says, so he tore down its dividing wall of hostility. By setting aside in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations.

He set aside everything that he knew was right. Even though he was right. Was God wrong? Was Jesus wrong? No. But Jesus did not have to be right. Let me say that again. Jesus didn't have to be right. And if you were a person or you know someone who has to be right. I will say that you will probably walk more unlike Jesus. Than you will walk like him.

Because he had the right to be right. And he was right. And decided that he didn't have to be right. Right. Moving on again. His purpose. Now what was his purpose in this? Of dividing. Of destroying the barrier of conflict. He destroyed it through grace. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two. Thus making what? Peace. When Jesus came into a conflict.

What was his entire purpose? To be right? No. To cause unity. And to cause the two sides of the argument. Destroy the barrier of conflict between it. And cause unity. That he might have making peace. What a good savior we have. And in one body reconcile both of them to God through the cross. By which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away.

And peace to you who were near. For through him we both have access to the father by one spirit. Powerful. Powerful. Do you see conflict in a different way when you see it through the lenses and eyes of Jesus? God valued, as you'll see in the notes, the salvation of his children more than being right. It's like a father that stands on the shore of the ocean and is told his kids don't go out into the rip current.

Don't go out into the rip current. And his two children get into the rip current. And the next thing you know they're a mile or a half mile out to sea. And he stands on the shore and says I told you so. I told you so. You shouldn't have gone out there. You shouldn't have got in that water. I told you it was a rip. You shouldn't have done it. And all the time his children drowned.

No. Instead, what does God do? As a loving father. God says nothing. But he sacrifices and risks his own life to jump in and go after his children. He doesn't care about being right. Concerned more about the children. He's concerned more about you than being right. Do we model that in conflict? Here we see a church now that is 15 years old. 15 years in.

Since this beautiful church where everything was shared in unity. Remember? In Acts chapter 2. We all shared our food. We all shared our money. Everything was amazing. And then this persecution came. That the enemy tried to destroy the church from the outside to the inside. He wanted to persecute it and he did a great job of it. But when he tried to destroy the church from the outside, the church was scattered.

But what happened? The church multiplied. I will say that it is impossible to destroy a church that is unified in the inside from the outside. Let me say that again. The scripture shows this. I believe that it is impossible. Definitively impossible. To destroy a unified church from the outside to the inside. Meaning to assail it with persecution. To assail that church with strife.

With suffering. And if we are committed as a body to the unity of Christ. Or if you personally are committed in yourself as you are being attacked with all these different things. Like we heard about with Christine in the story today. That if you are committed to Christ to have a unity with God within you will never be defeated. The scripture says to that.

Satan after 15 years is starting to learn the lesson. That he cannot destroy the church from the outside. He has done everything with the rulers of countries. He has attacked it with Jewish leaders and religious leaders. He has done everything with sorcerers to destroy this church. And every time he has done it. The church has succeeded to grow and to multiply and to expand.

So there is a new plan afoot. The plan is this. Destroy it from the inside. Get to the inside. And what we will see in the three points today about conflict. With the new lenses on. Is how this church made it a point to do conflict the way that Jesus did it. Here is your three points for the day. Number one. A house divided against itself cannot stand.

Say that again. A house divided against itself cannot stand. Point two. Conflict resolution is the key to longevity in ministry and relationships. Conflict resolution. If you cannot resolve conflict. In your marriage. In your relationship with your children. With your best friends. In your business. In your church. Your house will be destroyed. It will be divided.

And it will not definitively, Jesus says, be able to stand on its own. Unity. At the sake of Christ's grace. Is the key to longevity in ministry and relationships. And number three. Grace dilutes conflict. Grace. Love grace. Don't forget grace. Always an opportunity. Let's look at the first point. A house divided against itself cannot stand. So it says in verse one.

We're going to start picking this apart. And this scripture. There's 5,000 messages in this scripture, by the way. But what I think the key thing that rose out exegetically looking at it. Is the way in which they continued to move forward as a church when there was issues. And this was a major issue. In verse one. It says certain people came down from Judea and Antioch.

And were teaching the believers. Unless you are circumcised. According to the customs taught by Moses. You cannot be saved. And so what they are saying is. You need Jesus and something else. You need Jesus and some works. You need Jesus and this other things. And once you have these other things and Jesus. You can be saved. This is not the gospel. The gospel is you need to believe that Jesus did everything on the cross.

He was suffered for your sins. Bled and died. And his blood shed for your sins makes you atoned for. He atones for your sin. And that you will rise again with him on the third day. Excuse me. That he rose on the third day. And we will rise again after our death and spend eternity with God. That is the gospel. Jesus plus nothing. Jesus plus nothing. Belief in Jesus.

Nothing needs to be added. Now let's look at this. This is different than the believers that came from Antioch and Iconium last chapter. Where they came and tried to have. Well they did. They had Paul stoned. They came and they stirred up a mob. They were trying to cause problems and to persecute. These believers. It's a little bit different. These are Jews who had become Christians.

Who were holding on to the Old Testament understanding of the law. And really I believe in the in believing that they were doing the right thing. They came into the church and they were holding this. And they came down to Jerusalem and throughout the churches. And began to say no no no. You know we've been Jews for a long time. We have this tradition of Moses.

We don't want you to miss out on anything. You guys got to get circumcised. You got to hold all the festivals. And this law that has to be fulfilled. Jesus set up the law the scripture says. The Jewish law. So that man could understand that it's impossible to gain salvation through the law. It is mentioned in this scripture. When I think it's Peter stands up and says.

Or Peter or James. And there were some heavy hitters that were on Paul's side in this argument here. You have James the brother of Jesus. You have Peter. You have Paul. And I think it's Barnabas there as well who goes with him. They go down. And yeah Barnabas goes with him. And so this is an important understanding here. That you do not need to do anything but grace to be saved.

And so they come down into this argument. And they look at this. First it says that they come believing. That they can add something to the faith. And that they need it. And these believers stand up on this key argument. Now this is different than. Hey what time are we going to have the church potluck after church. Now churches are divided by those types of arguments on a regular basis.

Okay. What color are we going to paint the door? There are certain things you need to go to the wall for and die for. And there are certain things that you don't. You need to pick your battles. This is something that you would die for. This argument. This is an argument that the church dies for. The atonement. The death and resurrection of Jesus. Only saved by faith.

These are the things that are important. Now here's the key thing with conflict. Do you know which hill to die on? Without having to kill somebody else in the process. A lot of people are willing to die on a hill. But they got to take out a few bodies with them when they go. Jesus was willing to die on a hill by himself. You get that? Jesus didn't have to take anybody with him.

He was willing to die. But he knew what he was willing to die for. And he died for something. But he didn't have to take anybody else with him. As a matter of fact, the whole reason he died was that others would be saved. Powerful way to see conflict. Jesus didn't have to take anybody else with him. We see here in verse 1 that certain people would come down.

And if Satan can't destroy the church, in your notes it says, from the outside, he'll work from the inside. Jesus in Mark 3.25 says this. If a house is divided against what? Itself. It can not stand. I want to say this is in direct contrast, as we said, to a church that was being persecuted and scattered, which in turn caused the church to flourish.

What was so interesting, this was an issue that you would be willing to die for, but they did it in a way that brought unity to the church. So often when we're right, when you know you're right, when you know you're right, it's so easy to put your heels in the ground. Put your heels in the ground and say, because I'm right, I'm right. And we should do it and we have to do it my way.

I want to say this is such a beautiful story of people that had not only grace, but a plan to bring unity to the church. Once again, let me say this, that every conflict, the main course today is every conflict you're in is an opportunity to expand the kingdom. What conflicts are you in right now? And are they expanding the kingdom or are they decreasing the kingdom?

Let's go to number two. Conflict resolution is the key to longevity in ministry. Now, when I was in seminary, I went to Azusa Pacific and I've told this story before, but I was my first class and it was called ministry practice, how to survive basically in ministry. And we did case studies where they would have different situations that brought churches down, whether it be an affair within the staff or the congregation, they would have all these crazy situations that are real life stories.

They changed the names to protect the innocent and they would put us, throw us in there and say, okay, you're the head pastor. You're this person. You're this person. Figure it out. And that's what the whole class was. It was amazing. I learned so much from that class. Earl, the Pearl Grant got up in front first class. He was a guy that shared the gospel on camelback throughout Northern Africa.

This guy had some history and some longevity in ministry. And I was the first day. I'm a rookie, wet behind the ears. I'm sitting there all excited to start my ministry career. And he got up to the pulpit, began to speak. And the first thing he said was this first thing I ever heard in seminary. And I'm not sure I heard anything else after this, but I have built my ministry career on this.

What he said, he got up and he said the first thing, first thing I ever heard conflict resolution is the key to longevity in ministry. It's exact words, conflict resolution. He said, if you cannot resolve conflict in the church, because you will be surrounded by it constantly, because people will be in conflict with each other. Oftentimes churches are brought down by people that are in conflict with each other within the church.

You've seen, if you've been in the church long enough, you have seen conflict. And either you will be in a church that knows how to have healthy conflict, to grow the kingdom, or it will be contracted. I will say that a church can be snuffed out through internal conflict. It is the best way if you were going to destroy a church. The best way is to create conflict and disagreement between the believers within, because it is impossible to destroy a church from the outside, in my opinion, even if it be scattered.

Verse two, it says they brought Paul and Barnabas into sharp dispute and disagreement with them. So Paul and Barnabas were appointed along with some other believers to go up to Jerusalem to see the apostles and the elders about this question. I want to tell you what I like here. Disagreement was allowed and is healthy when done in a healthy way.

Look, the whole idea that you can never have conflict if you're a Christian is not biblical. I don't even think it's healthy outside of the church. Conflict can be very healthy when done right. I was on a team at a ministry called Soul Survivor. We had three of us in the office. We ended up having four. We all had different opinions. We would go after each other on the direction of the ministry, and my boss allowed it.

Always had to be done in a healthy and a godly manner. There was no finger pointing. There was no guilt comments. We just said, hey, I think we should do it this way. And the whole idea was the direction of the ministry. I want to say that we were committed to the ministry moving forward and to kids hearing the message of Christ. Every one of us was committed to that.

And we all trusted each other's heart in that. I want to say I disagreed with my boss, Paul, on a regular basis. I disagreed with Andy, the financial guy. We would just disagree. But here's what I knew. In the end, I trusted those men. And in the end, many times, Paul would say, okay, we're going to go with so-and-so's decision or Adam's decision because I don't agree with it, but enough of you feel that it's the right way to go.

And we would have healthy conflict. I want to say you have to be able to have healthy conflict. I was at a church one time on staff, and I've been on many, so I'm not sharing any secrets. And I was on staff, and I had a conflict with my direct supervisor. And I sat with the supervisor, and I said, I would like to speak to the elders to bring up this conflict that we had.

And the answer was this, no. We didn't have an HR person at this church that I was at. And I said, well, I would like to, no, I have a, I need to go to the elders and share with them what's going on, because I believe that this, it's not going to be solved. The answer was no, you may not speak to the elders, stonewall, done. I got to tell you, that was not a safe place.

That was not a safe place. And I got to say that you have to, as a church or in my staff, have a place that you can go. So if you have an issue with me, it is safe for me to have a board of elders whom I trust, and I trust our elders, and I trust our staff, that you can go there, and I don't have to sit in the meeting. And you can talk to them, because I believe that they have my family's best interest at heart, and the church's best interest at heart, and your best interest at heart, but most importantly, God's interest at heart.

That you can go and have a place to share a grievance and work it out. I learned something from that situation, that I want to have a place where you feel safe and that I feel safe. And so, also valuing that we can have sharp disagreement. Guys, there's no problem with sharp disagreement. Just make sure when you're having it, that you don't sin as you're having it.

Remember when I first got married, I was a great door slammer. Really? I'm going to show you, you know. My words, I didn't value my words enough, so I had to get big. They call that getting big. You have to use a guilt statement, or an accusatory statement, or say something that makes them feel bad, or slam a door, or cuss. Whenever I see someone go into that, I realize that they don't feel that what they are saying has enough value on its own, or they're not used to being listened to.

That if they know that they have a safe place to go speak, rarely will they get big. But you will see in conflict, people will come in larger than they need to. Have you ever seen anybody that brings like, you know, an AK-47 to like a flower party, you know what I mean, or a tea party? It's like, we're just having tea. Yeah. You know. Very aware of that.

I want to say that disagreement is allowed in this church. And if you have an issue, and you want to bring it up, we can even agree to disagree. We can have sharp disagreement, but we're going to do so in a way that is godly. In my opinion, we're going to do our best, not that we wouldn't make mistakes on occasion. Second of all, on this conflict resolution is the key to longevity.

They had a plan for counsel. Do you have a plan for conflict? When you have conflict in your relationship, what's your plan? Is your plan a long email and a text with lots of really good bullet points and zingers, you know? That doesn't work. Usually, if you send an email to me that's conflict, you'll get three to five sentences back. I've learned not to do business over email.

I've learned not to do business over text. I'm just learning that because any, because I've realized that email makes a lot of messes for me. Maybe it doesn't for you, but I've just learned I don't have the ability to clean up those messes that I make for myself. And so what I want to do is have a plan. What's your plan? When there's a disagreement in my marriage, if there is one, my wife and I have a gal that we go to.

We know this needs Corrine's help. And so we go to Corrine and we sit there. Or we have an issue. If there's an issue in the church, we have a group of elders that we can go to, that I can go to, that we can say, what's your plan? When they had sharp disagreement, they couldn't figure it out, they went to trusted people. Who are the Gandalfs in your life?

Who are the trusted people in your lives that you go to, that you come to? They had a plan. And then finally, grace dilutes conflict. Verse 11, no, we believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are. And I say, the thing about Jesus is Jesus came to this conflict of sin with a gift of grace. He came bearing gifts.

What I've realized about conflict, especially when I'm included in one, is that no one comes empty-handed to a conflict. You bring every conflict you've ever had before. Healthy conflicts. And so if you had a relationship with your father or your mother that was very unhealthy and they told you you were no good and used really heavy, big language in order to control and manipulate you, people, when they come to you, that will be there with them.

No one comes to a conflict empty-handed. And what we have to do is look at all the ways we've done conflict in the past and put those down and learn the way that Jesus does conflict. Jesus comes always with a gift of grace. Now, he also comes with the truth. Jesus just doesn't lay down. There is judgment. There is the balance of that. But the scripture says that mercy triumphs judgment.

It would be a different sermon to go into how he balances that. We won't do that today. But let me tell you a couple things that he did. We must be insistent to insert grace into all of our conflicts. First of all, Jesus had an empathy for where people are. I love, you know, I find that as soon as I stop and go, okay, what's going on here? Is the issue the issue?

What's really happening? What's this person really concerned about? What is this person upset about? Where have I done that? Where have I seen that? When I get out of having to be right and I sit down and pray, I breathe and think, where are they coming from? Where are they struggling? What is their point? All of a sudden, I find it starts to unravel all that rightness within me.

I'll say you will never grow your relationships with the kingdom of God if you have to be right. Proverbs 15, and here's a tool. I have a couple verses I run my entire ministry life on. They're this. One is Proverbs 15. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Let me say that again. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

The other verse I have, and I don't have the reference, is this. It says that better one handful with peace than two fistfuls with striving. When I look at that, do you have to have two fistfuls? You've got to win. You've got to get as much as you can get with strife. Are you content with one handful with peace? That's what we want. We want peace and grace.

So as we go forward, remember Jesus on the cross, who didn't have to be right in your situation. That could look at you with a list of things that he has against you, and he would be right. Who has the ability to cast you, to separate you from his holiness, and he's right when he does it. But he doesn't have to be right because he values you with grace, and he loves you because of the cross so much more.

And may we take the love and the blood of Jesus into every conflict we have. Amen? Amen. Let's have the worship band come forward, and we'll close up.